Valentines month!!

I love Valentines's Day and I love the word February, but the month is way too short. Bills come sooner, and I dread March 1st, just means time is flying by too fast.

Hailey moved out and is living with Zach, not going to school. She comes over like I have a grocery store, she leaves with a bag of stuff everyday. I don't think I will let it happen anymore. Her last stop was tampons and toilet paper. Uggg. Love that girl! I will be inviting her and Zach to church EVERY Sunday. I asked her if they were using protection and her answer was no mom I am on my period, oh, ok, so???

Daran and I went to therapy Tuesday and learned how to manage our space, and how to read each other through our actions. I hope I remember what he taught me.

So we have the cutest dog ever, DEE. He is a chewer, but a lover so we keep him. SO he was hurt a lot when he was a puppy so he is very afraid of new people. He won't leave our yard, he is very scared of new things. So my neighbor lady across the street has a daughter that is a police lady and she is a wicked witch of Kaysville. She is a Kaysville City police officer. Is she called an officer??? Anyway, she can't stand when our dog is out and at large. So she comes over says get your dog off your yard and chain him up or keep him inside. OK, beast. So I come home from work Tuesday and she is parked in front of our house with a HUGE grin, and there is DEE, on the driveway waiting for me. Then the animal control pull up, then I see them talking in the road and neighbor beotch is over exaggerating every little movement she is making. So after like 30 minutes he went to his truck got his little ticket writing book, came to the door. Dee came to the door crawling because he was afraid, and the animal control guy saw how nice DEE is and just told us keep him chained up and made sure he was licensed and had his shots and was on his way. I am like lady go find a drug dealer, go catch a butterfly, just stop stalking us!!!! Next time I see her sitting in her car in front of her moms house when I know her mom is not home I will be calling the cops. Psycho beotch!!!

My kids don't read my blog thank heavens. Muriaa is presently going to open gym at Davis High for softball. They have a million girls trying out and are only taking 4 girls, The whole Bukoos, Avalanche, and Utah Thunder girls are all there but it is good for Muriaa to go and learn and practice. Aleeya is on the younger Avalanche team and is doing good, she loves softball, she goes to practice every week. It helps her confidence a ton. My dad has worked with the girls for years, I don't know what I would do without him, he is saving my family. Life is hard.

I really wish Daran would get a better job, I have been applying for full-time jobs, we just really need a better financial situation. I hate the thought of working full-time with 4 year old. I love being home when my kids get home from school. Muriaa will be in 10th grade next year, ALeeya 8th, Noah 7th. Hailey is supposed to graduate this year....TIme is flying way too fast.

Our van is broken we don't know what is wrong with it, our washing machine is broken, everything is wrong with it, we need new carpet in a bad way. The carpet that came with the house is so crappy. We had a guy come and clean it and he said it is the worst quality carpet he has ever seen. Like 3 grand for new so what do ya do???

I love my job, it makes my day to know I am going to work. I am an AST at Macy's. I do Administrative stuff. I will get a year of it under my belt and start applying for AST manager jobs at Macy's whenever they come open. Love it!!

I wish I had a running car today, we have no milk, no bread, no cereal, pretty empty house.

It's Monday!! again..

I have the sadz today and trying to get over them!! I want them to go away!! It started out crazy, i was supposed to be up and at it earlier than I was. I get two days off this week and too much to do. I had to go clean my dad's office before they got there and didn't make it until like 8, then I went to return some impulse buying at Shopko. I really wish I had Oprah's account sometimes. Then I went to Walmart to get the milk and cereal. I feel like that is an every Monday thing these days. I had no laundry soap or Downy either so I left Walmart 60 bucks poorer. So hours later I have laundry almost done, the worst part is folding and putting away. I don't mind washing, but gaaaaa the rest bites. Daran and I are really struggling, not sure what to do with our relationship anymore. Marraige is hard. I am letting it be like the you tube video I watched on my brothers Facebook today.

Hailey called me today for Christmas ornaments and tree stuff, I have nothing. I told her to go to the D.I. She is living with her friends, boys and all. She breaks my heart and is not doing what is best for her but what do ya do??? I still love her.

Some things I really want to do this week along with my work and home life: Charge my camera and video camera, buy new tapes for the video camera. Read up some more on my camera. Start to read the BOM!!!! I am WAY behind!

Hailey.

I remember Hailey in 2006, Aleeya got baptized that year. Hailey bore her testimony at her baptism about the temple, she cried and said how much she loved going to the temple and that was the only place that she could get that feeling of such love and goodness. Hailey was 13 in 7th grade. Hailey moved out of my house and into her dads with his wife. They went to St. George and Las Vegas and Hailey got left with her step-moms family in Las Vegas or St. George I can't remember. Hailey called me daily crying to come get her. I had no way to get her so she was in a house that she hated with people she hated. Hailey came home to live with me once more. Hailey left again with her dad once more, her dad got a divorce she came back with me. I told her she needed to go to counseling and she did. Hailey was showing sings of depression and mood swings and she was cutting herself. She was miserable. Hailey is a needs person. She called me a lot from school to go to school lunch with her, she never felt good. She needs at all times. She moves on if she isn't getting what she wants. Hailey accused Daran, my husband at one point of child abuse, we had the cops and everyone over they dismissed it all. Hailey admitted it was all a lie. She went to live with her dad again, I made her leave. Within one year Hailey had gone to 3 different schools at some point. The summer after her junior year at Layton High Hailey moved again back with me. She agreed to our rules, she was dating Zach and they hung atound a lot, she was going to school, it was ok. Hailey was getting once again ancy, she was not happy with Zach, so she was miserable and Zach broke up with her and she fell apart. Hailey was pregnant at one point with Zach's baby and she lost it. Hailey then was taking off with Crystal for days at a time, dropped out of school, started making bad choices and Daran made her leave. Hailey has not been back. Hailey and Crystal moved in with Mike for a couple days and ended up leaving and no one knows where she is. We got her dog Dee back through Jill. I don't have a clue why I am blogging this, just something I want to write about. Hailey has always been such a precious girl to me. She has always done so good in school and the teachers always loved her, even through Jr. high and high school. Whenever I went to parent teacher conferences the teachers went on and on about her. Hailey was a peer tutor for 4 years and she loved it, she worked wonderfully with the special needs kids. Hailey loves to be loved and needed, I felt like I couldn't ever do the right thing with her. I always stuck up for her in any situation, I hovered her. I probably should of done things different with her. Right now I am hoping she comes back and I will tell her that the only way is if she will go to Life Line Rehab. I love Hailey very much, it kills me that she is making wrong choices right now. I hope that nothing bad happens to her and it takes womething bad for her to come home.

Funk...

I feel like I really need to get out of this funk I am in! It is Saturday and of course I spent the whole morning at the laundromat drying 6 loads of laundry because our dryer is broke. Then Muriaa needs fabric for a project so we spent an hour at Hancock fabrics and it is very stressful and very expensive. She enjoys sewing so what do ya do?? I then went to Lacey Wixom's home and did her hair for Homecoming and took pictures of her, she looked so pretty. I came home and chilled with my Luke.

I have a new job at Macy's that I love but it is hard work and stressful, it will get easier, I just need to remember things and that is not an easy task for me. I sit in an office and do computer stuff and deal with employees, I really like it, the pay sucks but I figure I will stay for a year then look for something else in HR or office. The HR manager actually came to me and asked me to apply for the job which is pretty cool, a lot of other people wanted it which has been kind of hard for those people. I go in tomorrow we will see how it goes.

Yeah, JOY school is Tuesday and I am teaching! I will take some pics and post them for sure! Luke loves school he goes every Tuesday I teach every 7th week. Last Tuesday the teacher (my neighbor and cool friend) went inside to take someone potty and guess who turns on the water and squirts everyone, YEP Luke and Nate. Everyone went home wet. Nice Luke. The week before I walked to pick him up at the neighbors and who is Miss Molly chasing, YEP Luke and Nate, outside, all other kids are inside. I yi yi!

It has been an eventful summer at our house. I really am ready to just relax and not have any events happen for a long time. Hailey got pregnant, lost her baby, it was sad. She is still dating her boyfriend Zach. They need to chill, I actually like Zach a lot. Hailey went to the doctor to get on some depression meds but didn't like how they made her feel so she stopped taking them. I dunno what ta dooo. I love her tons though.

Julie came to visit with sweet Heath and Berke and Josh. It was a fast visit but very good to see her. Luke likes playing with Heath and Berke is so yummy, he reminds me of my babies.

Aleeya and Muriaa are playing softball Wed. nights. I love going and watching them. Aleeya has her heart all in softball, I think Muriaa is getting a little bored. But come spring she will be ready! They are both great players. Thanks to my awesome dad that got them going in it and has spent so much time with them learning and supporting and paying!! I couldn't do it without him!

My boy, my love, my life

That is what my Luke is..No matter how many times a week he has accidents, no many how many drinks in the middle of the night or how many snacks in a day he has, I love this little man so much!
Luke makes me smile everyday, we wake up, we eat breakfast together, we do laundry, we clean the kitchen. His favorite buddy Nathan comes over about everyday, they are so fun, I am so thankful for little boys. His favorite thing to do right now is play sword fighting on the Wii, too cute. He loves me so much and hates to see me mad or hurt. He will say to me are you happy mom?? We have been so busy with 8 softball games a week and he is such a trooper. He loves his brother Noah and his sisters. He loves going to Grandma Lowry's house. The first time I have ever left him with someone was a couple weekends ago with Grandma Lowry and he loved it. He did not want to leave. I was so worried about him going but it was very nice.
Luke has been such a blessing to our family, I love to see the kids with him, they love him and it just brings so much love to our home. I love you Luke!!

So fun, so much love.

I am so happy to have all of my kids!! So many times I think what was I thinking, but I can't imagine life without a single one of them. Hailey stayed that past couple of days with me and she was just pleasant and happy. She took me to a movie last night, How to slay dragons, it was awesome!! I worry about her a lot, but I have so much love for her, she was my first baby, and we had good times before my next baby 3 years later. Aleeya went to St. George with Grandpa Higley, she was so excited. I hope she has fun.

Muriaa and Grandpa, Luke and I went to New Mexico to stay with Julie while she had her cute little Berky! It was nice to have some warm weather. It was very nice to see such a cute little baby. Luke enjoyed it and he was very good on the ride home 11 hours. He is such a good little boy, I am so lucky, he makes me smile everyday! He loves everyone around him.

Happy Birthday MOM!!!

(Yesterday)
Ewwww I was so ornery yesterday at exactly 3:45. I don't know what got into me, I have no idea, no PMS, nothing. I spent the day with Luke and his buddy Nathan they get together everyday and they are just so cute because they are so different. Nathan totally loves sports, give him a ball and he is in heaven and he is very opinionated. He will call anyone a loser. I don't think Luke knows what that word means. Luke is so into transforming transformers and Power Rangers. Nathans mom said she was shocked that Luke could transform her older sons transformer in about 3 minutes and it takes her 4 hours. He also can do any puzzle, he loves doing puzzles. He has his daddy's brain. Anyway, so Luke went to Nate's house for a while and I finished laundry and cleaned the bathroom. Then I went and got Luke and of course he hates to leave Nathan so I tell him we are going to go get balloons for Grandma Higley's grave and he fell asleep asw soon as I left the house. UUGGGG sorry mom no balloons. Soooo we went to mom's grave and I left Luke in the car I didn't stay long. It was funny there was a little glass pot with fake greens in it, hmmm who gave her that??? Someone gave her some pretty flowers too. I miss her tons, she loved Burnt Almond Fudge ice cream and fish and chips. That just came to my mind. Weird!

We had drama at my house this morning and I am still boggled over it. Noah is in his room, in his bed. He refused to go to school this morning and I have no idea why. He has never done this ever before. He is a really good kid, very quiet. doesn't say much. Actually worries me because he will never talk to me. So I gave hi the choice to stay in his bed all day or talk to me about why he doesn't want to go to school and I will take him to school. Se he decided to stay in his bed. He will get hungry I imagine sometime. I feel so mean but the kid needs to deal. I had to work last night and I have to work again tonight and Daran works 2 jobs so no one is home with all the kids and I hate it! Luke isn't insured and hasn't been and I really need to apply for CHIP or something. Thanks heavens we have not been sick this year. (knocking,knocking) Noah and Luke have had a cold and that's it.

Daran and I can't agree about what to do with the house, sell it, or not sell it. ANd we have equity and Daran wants to cash it all out and pay off all of our bills. I say NO and put it all to the next house. I dunno it's an ongoing thing. He has student loans and we have 1 credit card that we used for groceries when I wasn't getting child support, and a credit card for fixing the house up. It is stressful, I hate it. It could be worse though, I am glad to have a house to live in and a good neighborhood.
Some pics of Nathan....