November is done!!

It doesn't seem like it should be December, time flies right out the window. It really actually makes me sad. I look back at the last five years of my life and a lot has happened and it went too fast. I hope the next five years of my life are calmer and filled with peace.

We went to Grandma Lowry's for Thanksgiving it was fun, we ate and played games, Daran has a wonderful family, I feel so good there. They are all so nice and the most down to earth people I know. The most important thing to all of them is their family.

Daran drug me out at 3 am on black Friday, we didn't buy a whole lot but got what we were after, I promise we didn't kill anyone. We got Noah a Rip stick and Luke a Leepster, Aleeya some Little Pet Shop stuff and Muriaa nothing and the rest goes on e-bay. I want to get Luke Geo trax but don't know if we can. I love Christmas, I don't buy my kids anything throughout the year and this is the one time I do, it's so fun and exciting. I especially love the spirit that is around as we celebrate Christ's birth.

Daran and I had to pray in sacrament today, I think I'm just shy or something because I don't enjoy that kind of thing, and to top it off I CRIED, and had to pause. UGGGG Oh well.

*sigh*

I have so many words and I need to write them down. I need to make my blog private for family and friends and of course BBC, I love everyone there. Make sure you follow me, add yourself to my blog. I want to read your blogs to.

So tonight was pure HELL at my house. My blessings for staying home with my kids are out the window, since I started work yesterday. So Hailey is grounded today because she left yesterday while I was at work when I told her NO. I worked this morning so I was tired, we read scriptures early every morning and I came home and layed in bed and Hailey comes in for about an hour and hangs out with me which is perfectly normal she does everyday. Well she asks me if she can leave again with her friend Crystal. Of course I say no, she asks for an hour begging, saying she will do anything, she will clean or do anything. I still tell her no, explain why, and tell her I'm sorry she is grounded. So after the hour she goes to her room and starts texting me about how stupid it is that I ground her and that she isn't going to care anymore about anything and she wants me to kick her out of the house so she can live with her friend. So I go downstairs in her room , first of all I find diet pills so I flush them down the toilet, then I find out she is cutting again on her stomach. So then I take her phone and check texts, she knows I do this randomly and I find some swearing and texts I didn't feel good about so I took her phone. She flipped out, she threw things at me, started banging her head on the wall, kicking everything, screaming that she hates me so bad and I ruined her life. She was in full blown panic mode. So I call her dad to come over and talk to her, I was scared, Daran works 3-12 so he wasn't here. So he tells me to call the police and put her in Moeda, I freaked and was bawling telling him NO WAY!! SO after about 2 hours I called my brother Taft and his wife Jill to come over because Hailey totally loves them. SO they come over and talk to her and Mike and Janae came about an hour later. They got her calmed down, and Taft & Jill took her to their house. It took a while but at least I wasn't hearing how she just wants to die and she doesn't care and she hates me. UGG

So Taft and Jill are a life saver for me, I love them so much they have helped me out so many times. They are so amazing. I need to get my Hailey back in therapy and get her some help. She really is pleasant most of the time. She loves her sisters and brother and plays with Luke most of the day. She has wonderful mother qualities. I just love her so much and I know I'm being really protective but I just want her to be happy. I let her go with her friends almost everyday, but if I say no about anything she freaks out. I don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas, I hope it gets better.

Happy Turkey Week!!

Kids are in bed, laundry is almost done, believe it or not I started the laundry at 6:30 this morning, last load is in the dryer...Whew!!

I worked almost 9 hours today, I came home to a messy house and Iwas not happy!! If momma aint happy no one is happy!! The kids have jobs that they do daily they have a job list and there are 4 main jobs. Family roon, living room, bathrooms, and stairs and hallways and laundry room. These same 4 jobs switch every week and they have their set day to do dishes. I start the kids on jobs at age 3, yes I said age 3. 3 year olds make BIG messes and it works for the family and house. EXCEPT for TODAY!! I came home to Noah on the playstation, Hailey GONE, after I texted her and told her she could not go anywhere. Muriaa and Luke watching a movie, and Aleeya was somewhere. So I made all of them get their job done, made Hailey come home, grounded her tomorrow, and gave a lecture about just because I'm not home it doesn't mean partay!!! Then it's MOM I'm starving, have some pumpkin pie I told them, oh yeah let's not forget the empty ice cream bucket in the garbage from their after school snack!! Grrr

My sweet mother-in-law always makes the kids cute jammies for Christmas so she called and needed measurements on the kids. So I round up the herd and can't find my sewing tape measure, so yes I used a normal tape measure. Wasn't that accurate. So I just got done e-mailing my MIL the measurements and now I'm blogging and playing on facebook before I have to finish my laundry. I have to work kinda early and we have an appraisal guy coming at 9 so I need to hit the sack.

I'm hoping to be more thankful next time I post. really.

Who made me mother??

I know that my role as a mother is very important and I'm so blessed to be a mother of all my kids, but, I am so sucking at it. My soon to be 16 year old is just not happy with me at all. I have heard about 20 times in the past two days "I am not you MOM"
And "MOM stay out of my life" and "That's YOU mom, not me". I can't get it right with her. She tells me I have ruined her life an I should let her move in with her BFF. I should just let her make her own choices and learn from them on her own.

She cried for an hour straight last night because I want to take her texting away because she is being disrespectful to me. Daran made a deal with her if she will start therapy up again then he will let her keep her texting. She used to cut herself so I made her go to therapy and she has completely stopped that, the therapy really helped. She has not gone for about 8 months.

My divorce was so hard on her, she was 12, she was at a age when life is already confusing and to have your parents ripped from you like that I'm sure is hell. I just love her so much and I tell her that I love her and care about her and that is why I am a helicopter mother to her and that's why I want to know where she is at every second of her life, and that's why I will only let her hang with boys at our house, while I'm home. I told her if I didn't care then she would be out every weekend all night long, and she wouldn't have to keep a 3.0 GPA to keep her phone, and she could have sleep overs. But I love her so I have to set expectations for her.

I wish I knew what to say to her. I told her that she would be mad at me when she is 30 if I didn't put restrictions on her. I told her that one day I hope she will thank me. I wish I could get through to her that the choices she makes now are her future.

Hailey HATES Davis High, she begs daily to go to Viewmont with all her friends. The girls are so mean and rude to her at Davis. She gets called ugly and a ho everyday. Girls spread rumors about her and she cries EVERYDAY, it breaks my heart but all I can do is tell her it will be ok and I'm sorry. She sits alone at lunch and hates it, I told her there has got to be one girl that is alone and she needs to go up to her and make friends but she says everyone has their own friends. She tried to get in with a group and she was bugging them and was being a follower she said. We moved here a couple years ago so she never really found neighborhood friends it's hard to get in with clicks here in Kaysville. We just need to make it 2 more years, I don't know what else to do.

There is nothing harder in the world than watching your kids hurt and make bad choices. I ope and pray that Hailey will find herself and like herself. Until then, I will love her forever and ever!!!

Wow, pink strip!!! OK, technical difficulties

Yeah, we got out of the house.

Daran's mom and dad had their birthday dinner Saturday night so we went to Salt Lake and we took the front runner and trax to the Macaroni Grill. Luke loves the train so he was so excited to get on the train, he was in heaven. The first pic is Luke waiting for the front runner in Farmington.
Next one is Luke and I on front runner and Luke in his seat on front runner.

Here is dad with Luke
Here is dad and Luke at dinner
And Grandma Lowry and Luke at dinner
Grandpa Lowry with his cake, yummy
And Luke amd I
Before we left we went to the Gateway until Trax came. some pics of Luke

I just LOVE when my kids bring home class pictures. It is a classic thing to always buy them. Aleeya was so stressed about the way hers looked, but I LOVE her picture.

We love the Bumbo

We looove the Bumbo, we got the Bumbo when Luke was a baby, and he loved it. We pulled it out and dusted it off and put baby Heath in it. He wasn't too sure of it, but he loved to look around.
This is Heath
And Luke
And Luke when he was little, well he was never little...
I got out of control looking at Lukes Bumbo pics, so here are some more when he was a couple months old.

My little trouble maker, OH #@$%&*& he did it again..

Luke is so into dumping things out and getting into the drawers and cupboards. I helped Noah clean his room and organizing his little toy thingy. Well I turned my back and look what Luke did, at least he stacked the totes, I thought that was so cute how he stacked them all. Sigh.
Here is Luke looking back, thinking I'm ruining his creation of dumped out totes.

OCTOBER 31 ~~2008~~

I can't believe that Halloween is over, time flies I tell ya. We had a busy day. We went to Weber State University for a fun trick or treat and chili in bread bowls, and lots of yummy treats. Luke loves caramel apples, and pumpkin cookies and he got plenty of those. Muriaa brought her friend piper with us, we went bowling there also. Piper won the whole game. Muriaa and Aleeya did awesome too. Noah did great too. We came home and rested, I made scone dough and honey butter and ate yummy hot scones before trick or treating. Trick or treating was so much fun, Luke was so cute, everyone just loved him in his giraffe costume. My camera had a low battery so I didn't get alot of good pics. People gave him handfuls of candy because he was so cute.
Here is Luke T-O-T at Weber


Here is Luke in his cute costume...

Here is Aleeya and jessica
Here is Aleeya and her two friends...

Here is some fall pics I took of Luke at Weber and our front yard, he loves to play in the leaves...
All the kids had so much fun T-O-T, Muriaa went with her friend Piper and Memee. Aleeya went with her two friends. Noah went with us, and Jessica went with my friend Kim and her 3 kids. We just stayed in my neighborhood. Hailey was home with her 3 friends, they played Apples to Apples and handed out candy.