Monday, November 17, 2008

Who made me mother??

I know that my role as a mother is very important and I'm so blessed to be a mother of all my kids, but, I am so sucking at it. My soon to be 16 year old is just not happy with me at all. I have heard about 20 times in the past two days "I am not you MOM"
And "MOM stay out of my life" and "That's YOU mom, not me". I can't get it right with her. She tells me I have ruined her life an I should let her move in with her BFF. I should just let her make her own choices and learn from them on her own.

She cried for an hour straight last night because I want to take her texting away because she is being disrespectful to me. Daran made a deal with her if she will start therapy up again then he will let her keep her texting. She used to cut herself so I made her go to therapy and she has completely stopped that, the therapy really helped. She has not gone for about 8 months.

My divorce was so hard on her, she was 12, she was at a age when life is already confusing and to have your parents ripped from you like that I'm sure is hell. I just love her so much and I tell her that I love her and care about her and that is why I am a helicopter mother to her and that's why I want to know where she is at every second of her life, and that's why I will only let her hang with boys at our house, while I'm home. I told her if I didn't care then she would be out every weekend all night long, and she wouldn't have to keep a 3.0 GPA to keep her phone, and she could have sleep overs. But I love her so I have to set expectations for her.

I wish I knew what to say to her. I told her that she would be mad at me when she is 30 if I didn't put restrictions on her. I told her that one day I hope she will thank me. I wish I could get through to her that the choices she makes now are her future.

Hailey HATES Davis High, she begs daily to go to Viewmont with all her friends. The girls are so mean and rude to her at Davis. She gets called ugly and a ho everyday. Girls spread rumors about her and she cries EVERYDAY, it breaks my heart but all I can do is tell her it will be ok and I'm sorry. She sits alone at lunch and hates it, I told her there has got to be one girl that is alone and she needs to go up to her and make friends but she says everyone has their own friends. She tried to get in with a group and she was bugging them and was being a follower she said. We moved here a couple years ago so she never really found neighborhood friends it's hard to get in with clicks here in Kaysville. We just need to make it 2 more years, I don't know what else to do.

There is nothing harder in the world than watching your kids hurt and make bad choices. I ope and pray that Hailey will find herself and like herself. Until then, I will love her forever and ever!!!

3 comments:

Christi said...

Hi Jenn -
Hang in there! Kids are so hard. I remember how horrible I was to my Mom when I was that age and all the stupid stuff I did.

On another note, my sisters hated Davis too because all their friends went to Viewmont and my mom ended up letting them go to Viewmont. They both did really well at Viewmont.

But do what you feel is right for your situation and remember that you are doing what is right for your family. Those oldest kids are the hardest. Max is already telling me I am the worst mother ever and all his friends hate me. Yippee! Can't wait for him to be a teenager.

Sorry such a long post!

Jennifer said...

Thank you Christi, it seems to be getting worse, but hopefully we will figure it out and she can be happy. I feel like I suck as a mother. UUGGG But anyway, thank you it helps to hear words of encouragement.
Jennifer

Tewz said...

You got it! You are learning these parenting skills so you can help me someday!! Uggghhh. I want Heath to stay a little 4 month fovever and ever!!! You are an awesome mom...I have always thought that and still do. Stick with those promises and rules baby even though it is hard...it brings so much respect to families!!! xoxoxox